I hate a lot of things. No, I really do. I mean, hate is a strong word, so let’s go with heavily dislike. I love a lot more things than I hate, but the purpose of this post is not about what I like. It’s about the things I can’t stand about the things that make my blood boil. There are certain things that I dislike that really set me off. I have enough material to write a novel so here we go with a “light” list of five.
Keep in mind when I say hate, I more or less mean I really, really, really dislike that but I can live with it. I literally can’t say that I truly hate anything, because like I just kind of laugh. Just the thought of something being so cripplingly awful that I despise it, that I loathe it, the only things that take the cake for the worst things in the universe are bad memories and heartache so intense you feel it physically. But both of these can be overcome in time.
These are in no particular order, I dislike each with the same intensity.
5. Engagement Pictures – Or any professional pictures for ‘special’ occasions. I know people are totally into them, but I find them a waste of time. Like, I don’t know I see them almost as this lie of happiness that has to be shared with the world via social media. Like, “my fiance and I love each other so much, that we went into the forest and held each other tight while looking mysteriously towards a camera.” I don’t get it. You know, what I saw on Facebook? This girl I kinda sorta not really knew from high school hired a photographer to do a shoot with her and her boyfriend because they were moving into an apartment together. A freaking apartment. Are you kidding?! What kind of crap is that? I mean is it worth it in the end? You spent all of this money on these lame pictures, you’ll really be about them for maybe a day at most, but once the obligatory nice comments and likes die down, your engagement pictures don’t matter anymore. (I kind of feel the same about a wedding ceremony…like should I ever get married, I’d rather go to a courthouse and spend all of that money that would’ve been wasted on a ceremony on an amazing reception and celebration of life and marriage. And a bomb-ass honeymoon.) I think professional pictures of like babies are probably fine, or of your kids for like Christmas cards or something. I just have a vendetta against engagement pictures for the most part. And speaking of children, this brings me to my next hated thing…
4. Ugly Babies – This one is bad, I know. I’m sorry except that I’m not really sorry. All parents love their kids and think they’re beautiful. Unfortunately, this isn’t true. Honestly, most babies aren’t cute, at least not until they’re like a few months old. Again, this is something Facebook has amplified for me because there are so many pictures of these little alien looking creatures and more coming every year. I don’t mean to offend, really I don’t because I’m sure if I have kids one day, I won’t notice if they’re ugly either. (They won’t be..right? Right? They’re totally going to be, because of this post’s existence.)
3. Dead Fish. – You know, until I was in my twenties, dead fish weren’t just something I hated, but something I feared. I am not afraid of a whole lot, I can pretty much count my fears on one hand. But this one stuck with me. Here’s why: Once upon a time, when I was a boy, my grandpa and I used to go on all kinds of adventures, to the beach, to the forest, he just really ignited the explorer’s soul I now possess. Anyway, this one time we went to the beach, (for those who don’t know, I grew up on an island) and I lifted a log because I wanted to watch it float away and under the log was a decaying fish carcass. And I kid you not, I just had a chill work it’s way up my spine as I closed my eyes and dug for this memory. It’s bones were sticking out, it’s eye glossed over and I dropped the log and heard a ‘splat.’ I remember wailing, this deep primal wail, and I took off running and Papa had to come and console me. When I was 15 or 16, I was in Chinatown in New York and saw all the dead fish in one of the outdoor shops, started sweating bullets and dragged my eyes away. This fear has since ebbed away, and I can stand to see dead fish, as long as they’re relatively fresh.
2. Weird Smells – You’ve likely seen pictures of me. I mean there’s one on the right side of the screen smiling at you right now. I have a big nose. I hate my big nose. But also I kind of love it because it’s like super strong. My sense of smell is really good. So when I smell something confusing it really throws me for a loop and upsets me. I can deal with gross smells no problem, I mean those are all around us all the time. (Except for the smell of skunks, I can’t do that, it’s an instant headache.) I’m trying to think of an example of a weird smell I hate, okay, okay cat pee is one, B.O. is another, when a food doesn’t smell like I expect that really bugs me, and this one is bad, but you know that smell from fat people, I can’t handle it, man. That was kind of offensive, so I’m sorry.
1. Miscommunication – I hate when something I say doesn’t come out right or when it’s interpreted differently than what I intended, I hate when I want to say something but say something completely different because of body language or people not understanding my sarcasm or when it doesn’t sound like what it sounds like in my head. Honestly, I love when people call me and I love Skyping because I feel like with texting, it’s tough to sometimes understand what the other person is saying, or feeling. When talking to someone over the phone, or in person, I find that I can convey what I mean way better than over text. Miscommunication sucks.
So there you go! Those are five of the things I hate the most! This was fun and mildly therapeutic so I may have to write about what other things I dislike again soon. I would love to hear if we hate any of the same things, and please remember this was just for fun and I meant no harm or offense to anyone at all!
My name’s Zack, thanks for hanging and reading my stuff, subscribe, like and comment if you liked or alternatively didn’t like what you read. I’ll see you soon!
This is Post 1 of a massive 8-9 posting spree!
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